Update Day #11

THE PANIC ATTACK!

Yes. I had one. Last night. I awoke in a sweat, panicking because I couldn’t breathe. I was having the weirdest nightmare, even for me, who has some pretty surreal dreams. Yes. I remember most of them, where do you think, as a writer, I get most of my story ideas?

The nightmare had me coming home to a place that wasn’t mine, yet, my dad was there (he passed away in 1991) eating breakfast in the middle of the night with a complete stranger. I don’t know who the person was. Then I too am sitting down at a table, breakfast is a huge fry up, someone I know from online is there, smoking and stubbing her cigarette out on my plate of bacon and eggs. I yell at her. Loudly …

Yes, I told you this was weird.

She runs out of the house into the night, crying. I feel mean and horrible and follow to calm her down and can’t find her. I’m then walking back towards the light, coming out the open backdoor to the house. But I never get there, the ground becomes mud. The mud starts sucking at me. I can’t breathe. I’m trying to yell for help, but have no breath.

Two young men I don’t know suddenly appear and after laugh, try to pull me out, but the mud is winning, I’m sinking faster.

The I woke up, gasping, arms flailing.

My partner was instantly awake calming me, asking what was wrong. I explained. They hugged me and held me tight, told me not to worry, they had me, I was safe. And we sat there like that for a few minutes.

There or not. It really terrified me. It’s been quite a few years since I had a bad panic attack like that. I’m guessing I need to cut down on listening to the news, and take time out for some self help, and quiet time.

Friends, I hope you’re getting to sleep at night, and not having nightmares. Take care of you all, and practise those deep breaths. I know I am.

Time to get back into doing some yoga. Mat, here I come.

Stay safe out there.

8 Comments Update Day #11

  1. AvatarSophie @BewareOfTheReader

    Well Alexandra that was indeed a frightening dream! I am not sleeping well either but so far no panic attack…

    1. AlexAlex

      Well, I hope you’re sleeping better too, Sophie, because I wouldn’t wish these kind of nightmares on anyone. It’s really unlike me, but I know at least the why, given everything that is happening, and how we’re all so worried and concerned, not just for family and friends, but everyone who’s lives this is going to touch.

    1. AlexAlex

      You and I both, Jonetta. I didn’t think that me, of all people, would react this way, but this whole scare has gotten under everyone’s skin. And yes, it was incredibly vivid, and worrisome. It took me I think a good hour to settle and find any kind of sleep, and then, only because I think I was exhausted. Please, please, keep you and yours safe.

      1. AvatarJonetta (Ejaygirl) | Blue Mood Café

        I will! I made my last grocery trip this morning to get much needed chicken and used extra precautions. Even took my own bags and didn’t use a cart. Sanitized my hands on the way in and out.

        Be well and watch some Hallmark movies. They’ll produce a different kind of nightmare😏

        1. AlexAlex

          Oh, that was very sensible. The OH did a similar thing, taking wet wipes, hand sanitiser and gloves to the grocery store. I don’t think anyone here is taking chances. And now, I hear they are segregating people as they come into our local store, and they have big red dots on the floor by the tills 6 feet apart, where they are asking people to stand, before paying. What a great idea.

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