THE PANIC ATTACK!
Yes. I had one. Last night. I awoke in a sweat, panicking because I couldn’t breathe. I was having the weirdest nightmare, even for me, who has some pretty surreal dreams. Yes. I remember most of them, where do you think, as a writer, I get most of my story ideas?
The nightmare had me coming home to a place that wasn’t mine, yet, my dad was there (he passed away in 1991) eating breakfast in the middle of the night with a complete stranger. I don’t know who the person was. Then I too am sitting down at a table, breakfast is a huge fry up, someone I know from online is there, smoking and stubbing her cigarette out on my plate of bacon and eggs. I yell at her. Loudly …
Yes, I told you this was weird.
She runs out of the house into the night, crying. I feel mean and horrible and follow to calm her down and can’t find her. I’m then walking back towards the light, coming out the open backdoor to the house. But I never get there, the ground becomes mud. The mud starts sucking at me. I can’t breathe. I’m trying to yell for help, but have no breath.
Two young men I don’t know suddenly appear and after laugh, try to pull me out, but the mud is winning, I’m sinking faster.
The I woke up, gasping, arms flailing.
My partner was instantly awake calming me, asking what was wrong. I explained. They hugged me and held me tight, told me not to worry, they had me, I was safe. And we sat there like that for a few minutes.
There or not. It really terrified me. It’s been quite a few years since I had a bad panic attack like that. I’m guessing I need to cut down on listening to the news, and take time out for some self help, and quiet time.
Friends, I hope you’re getting to sleep at night, and not having nightmares. Take care of you all, and practise those deep breaths. I know I am.
Time to get back into doing some yoga. Mat, here I come.
Stay safe out there.