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Update Day #11

THE PANIC ATTACK!

Yes. I had one. Last night. I awoke in a sweat, panicking because I couldn’t breathe. I was having the weirdest nightmare, even for me, who has some pretty surreal dreams. Yes. I remember most of them, where do you think, as a writer, I get most of my story ideas?

The nightmare had me coming home to a place that wasn’t mine, yet, my dad was there (he passed away in 1991) eating breakfast in the middle of the night with a complete stranger. I don’t know who the person was. Then I too am sitting down at a table, breakfast is a huge fry up, someone I know from online is there, smoking and stubbing her cigarette out on my plate of bacon and eggs. I yell at her. Loudly …

Yes, I told you this was weird.

She runs out of the house into the night, crying. I feel mean and horrible and follow to calm her down and can’t find her. I’m then walking back towards the light, coming out the open backdoor to the house. But I never get there, the ground becomes mud. The mud starts sucking at me. I can’t breathe. I’m trying to yell for help, but have no breath.

Two young men I don’t know suddenly appear and after laugh, try to pull me out, but the mud is winning, I’m sinking faster.

The I woke up, gasping, arms flailing.

My partner was instantly awake calming me, asking what was wrong. I explained. They hugged me and held me tight, told me not to worry, they had me, I was safe. And we sat there like that for a few minutes.

There or not. It really terrified me. It’s been quite a few years since I had a bad panic attack like that. I’m guessing I need to cut down on listening to the news, and take time out for some self help, and quiet time.

Friends, I hope you’re getting to sleep at night, and not having nightmares. Take care of you all, and practise those deep breaths. I know I am.

Time to get back into doing some yoga. Mat, here I come.

Stay safe out there.

Update Day #10

So here we are, on Day 10 of staying at home, and self isolating (eh, with my partner — who is now working from home for the foreseeable future), and we’ve done all the following:

  • Cleaned the entire apartment
  • Washed and dried five (5) loads of laundry
  • Cleaned out 3 draws of old clothes for charity
  • Inventoried the larder
  • Stripped and changed the bedding
  • Partner cleaned the stove
  • Watered all the plants

No wonder I feel exhausted already, I’ve done nearly 5k steps and it’s only 2:30. But hey, my homemade latte tastes great. Thanks Nespresso, I love our machine and our milk foamer. Who needs Tim Hortons or Starbucks, we have our own coffee corner. But will have to maybe ration our pods for a while, as we heard on the Midday Bulletin from the provincial government that all Malls are close as of midnight, tonight. As some people were not respecting the stay at home unless necessary.

Supermarkets and pharmacies are still open for business, but they’re starting to set hours for different age groups, so that the elderly and those most vulnerable can get food!

That said, most people, a good 90% are following what’s been asked of us, and because of that, our numbers, in province, are still low, at this stage, compared to else where across the planet. However, the government is warning that we could see a spike in numbers now most people from abroad are coming home. I say give it 7 to 14 days from the last person getting back, and we’ll see certain spikes.

I just hope we’re all doing enough, in the meantime, to help flatten that curve and keep our emergency workers, doctors and nurses, all safe as well.

We can hope that the good weather that’s arrived doesn’t make people restless or worse, stupid.

Stay safe out there, people. And please, stay home where at all possible.

Update Day #9

We’re going outside! We’re going outside!

We’re going … okay, you get it. After being cooped up inside the apartment for the last nine days, I’m going a little stir crazy. And despite trying to keep to a routine, the weather has changed to mild and sunny, and I want out. I need to get out. I need to be outside, in the sunshine, even if it is only for several minutes.

My partner has being going to work all this time, they had no choice, considered essential at where they work—the health Ministry—but yesterday, stayed home on work-from-home for the foreseeable future, and though at home, we couldn’t go out. They had several conferences calls, and a ton of work still to get through …

But today? Today is the weekend, today is a sunny, blustery spring day, and my partner promised us a walk out. Even if it is only around the small park at the back of our apartment complex, or at the very least, a couple of rounds around the block and back.

Which makes me stop and think, even now. That even though I am desperate to get out there, I am fully aware of the dangers, like most people paying attention right now, that we have to be sensible and keep our distance from others out walking, especially with pets. Gone are the days of meet and greet, and patting the dog.

Will we always have to be this mindful? I’m thinking of a woman arrested yesterday after being tested positive for COVID-19 who then wilfully decided it was okay to go out and put other at risk. Someone called the police, putting them, and others at risk. Why?

Please people, don’t be selfish, don’t be foolish, be cautious and think of others, as we all step out into the sunshine, and get a breath of fresh air and normalcy.

Stay safe out there, people.