Day #70: Some Days …

Some days it’s easy to be my upbeat usual self, somedays … but there are almost as many day, these days, under these quarantine conditions, where I feel like it would be easy to succumb to depression. Even if the sun is shining, even if the weather is improving.

It’s that last little niggle that does it. That one more tiny irritating thing that finally makes its way beneath my skin, and I want to snap. I want to yell. Loudly! And more, I want to lock the door, for good, and throw away the key. And stay on the inside, insulated from the amazing number of callous, unthinking, stupid people this world has spawned.

And there, you see it. Me being angry. Me being annoyed.

It’s so difficult at times to contain it, to squeeze it out of my pores and get rid of it. That annoyance, that anger.

At people.

Where is my zen place. My happy place. Where do I feel safe from life, and stupidity?

Locking the door helps. Sadly, though, they’re still out there.

So I deal with my frustrations. I go through my mental exercise of riding myself of negative thoughts, and retreat into my quiet place, and, like a snake moulting its skin, try to shed this film of negativity from my being, my soul, before it taints me further.

I know I’ll bounce back. Tomorrow is always a new day, and the slate is wiped clean with each new morning, as it dawns. Just as surly as the sun comes up, I’ll find my way back to that happy, upbeat, carefree child inside of me, and whether the real sun shines or not, I’m in back my happy place and content.

Stay upbeat, stay positive, where you can, and stay safe out there, where ever you are in the world. And take care.


8 Comments Day #70: Some Days …

  1. AvatarMargot Kinberg May 21, 2020 at 4:48 pm

    I think it’s sometimes very hard to stay positive and keep focus, especially when you see so much evidence of how cruel/stupid/uncaring the world can be. But you can make your own small corner of it a good place. And you do. That’s the power we really have, I think. We can control how we react to life, how we choose to treat others, what we choose to do with the world’s resources, and so on. That thought always helps me, FWIW…

    1. AlexAlex May 21, 2020 at 6:45 pm

      Under normal circumstances we find and have our coping mechanism, throw in a pandemic, and every little thing can become an irritant. But yes, you’re right, Margot, we need to trust our coping mechanisms and ride it out. I went and listened to music, and shut the world out for a few hours. And, of course, several deep breathes helps.

  2. AvatarSophie @BewareOfTheReader May 21, 2020 at 2:34 pm

    But Alexandra, you forget all the people like you and me who respect the lockdown and think of the others. It will get better I promise!

    1. AlexAlex May 21, 2020 at 3:17 pm

      I know, Sophie. We stick to the rules, we do what’s right, and try our best, but just sometimes, don’t you want to throttle someone and knock some sense into them? 😉

      This too shall pass!

  3. AvatarPaula Bardell-Hedley May 21, 2020 at 1:58 pm

    I know what you mean, Alexandra. There are some absolute plonkers out there. I share your frustrations!

    1. AlexAlex May 21, 2020 at 3:16 pm

      Indeed, Paula, no matter where we are, we all have our fair share of twits to deal with on a daily basis. We just hope, like Jonetta says, things will get better. Eventually.

    1. AlexAlex May 21, 2020 at 3:14 pm

      Thanks, Jonetta, I know I’m not in this alone, and that there’s better days to look forward to. And yes, a smile always helps. Thankfully, I have my other half at home, so tonight, we’ll laugh it all off and have a sherry!

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